The Blair Bitch Project
Monster Productions
VHS 1999  20 minutes

review by Lee Peterson

Months after horror fans (and the rest of America) have reached total Blair Witch Project Burnout, this unfunny spoof film shows up. Not to be confused with the inspired parody website of the same name that popped up last summer (an E! Channel video crew searches for Lisa Welchel's character from The Facts of Life), this video short is 20 minutes of pure, unrelenting tedium.

The Blair Bitch Project (and why didn't they call it The Linda Blair Witch Project?!) is
the "brainchild" of stand-up comics Scott LaRose and Allan Murray (the kind of lame cable TV comedians that you just can't channel-surf past fast enough). Somehow they persuaded Linda Blair (from Roller Boogie and, uh...oh yeah--The Exorcist) to appear as "Heather" (they essayed the Josh and Mike roles themselves). The ever-energetic Blair has the right look and
the right spirit for the part, but the script is so dumbass that she wouldn't stand a chance, even if she could act. Each and every joke is so laboriously executed that you would have to be a complete idiot to find yourself laughing.  

Premiering at Fangoria's Weekend of Horrors convention in New York (January 15, 2000), The Blair Bitch Project played to a packed house (who were, not coincidentally, stuck in the auditorium waiting to get an autograph from Mike Williams from the real Blair Witch Project). When put on the spot, Mike very generously told the filmmakers it was 
"fucking funny" (you can bet they'll exploit that!). 

If you find Weird Al Yankovic and the Carol Burnett Show laugh-out-loud funny, then you may well enjoy this. Otherwise, this is for Linda Blair completists only. 

Food for thought--this piece of shit would set you back the same twenty bucks that the Exorcist Special Edition DVD would. Isn't Comparative Economics fun?

For sale at http//:www.blairbitch.com
(the first 1000 copies are numbered and signed by Linda Blair). 
 

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